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SOC – Northwestern November 24, 2012

June 2013 me hates November 2012 me right now. June 2013 me would give anything for a football game tomorrow. Yet here I sit, just wanting to get it over with.

Tomorrow’s game feels like a trip to the dentist. You girlfriend asking to meet for coffee “to talk”. Your boss asking you to shut the door behind you. No part of me wants to watch this game.


1. In the season where I had to admit that Pat Fitzgerald is a good coach, I have to watch him on the sideline when they destroy us. With that goofy smirk on his face. And I’ll have to just sit there and take it.

2. We’re about to lose our 10th game for the fourth time in the last ten seasons. 1-11 in 2003, 2-10 in 2006, 2-10 in 2006, and now 2-10 again in 2012. What’s that Lassie? Illinois fans have been thrown down the well again?

3. Teddy Greenstein will take 14 shots at Illinois on Twitter tomorrow, and I’ll read them all. Yet I can’t unfollow. He has my dream job. Get to write about a Big Ten conference team and your bosses allow you to be a wild homer for the team you cover. It’s the way all teams will be covered soon (seriously), and I’m jealous of the way Teddy does it. The Trib is way ahead of the game on this one.

4. One more time of looking at our defense and wondering what happened. After the final six games last year, we kinda sorta knew this offense was going to struggle. But we had no idea this defense would be 11th in the Big Ten in points allowed.

No, tomorrow will not be fun.

When looking at some of the other college football rivalry scores earlier this evening, I kind of had this “oh man what if we won?” moment. 2-9 Washington State beat a ranked Washington team in the Apple Cup. 4-7 Arkansas almost beat #7 LSU. Is it possible that we could have one of those games where everything goes our way and we knock off Northwestern? Maybe. Anything’s possible, I suppose, especially in these rivalry games.

But I just can’t see it. Not this year. Northwestern has lost two straight LOL Trophy games, and I can’t see them losing a third. Especially since the last time up there we embarrassed them at their Wrigley coming out party.

And then last year we overcame a 28-10 deficit, fumbled to nearly give the game back, and then drove the length of the field for a touchdown in the final minute to win. Both of those losses still sting for Northwestern. So I can’t see them folding in this one.

So yes, tomorrow will be hard to watch. I think Northwestern wins handily, and Fitzee celebrates a 9th win on my television, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ll just have to sit there and take it. Can we please just skip from Friday to Sunday?

Northwestern 34, Illinois 10

HHSILLINI November 24th, 2012

Robert~I think we pull off the Mildcat Miracle today! Illini-24 NW-17 DY runs wild!

ATOillini November 24th, 2012

Just a few little additional details regarding paragraph 2 above….
1) Well Robert, looks like you’ve got 2 cavities, a crown repair and a root canal that we need to take care of pronto. We’ll worry about the periodontal disease later.
2) Robert, I never really cared for you. In fact, I’ve been seeing Bucky Badger for the last 3 months. I already sold the ring at a pawn shop, so thanks for that.
3) Robert, as you can understand, these are difficult times. Your severance is $100. Your health insurance is good until 3:00 this afternoon. I know it’s Christmas Eve, but what are we supposed to do? Oh, I also heard XYZ school with a rich basketball tradition has contacted your basketball coach. Good luck in your future endeavors.

IlliniJeffrey November 24th, 2012

The difference between Washington St/Arkansas and Illinois is that those teams are willing and able to complete a pass more than 5 yards downfield, and run offenses that occasionally result in well designed plays.

By the way…..In road games, Illinois is ranked:

121st in Yards per play (offense)
124th in passing yards per attempt
124th in passer rating

123rd in yards per play allowed
124th in yards per passing attempt allowed
124th in passer rating against.

It seems impossible that one team could be so statistically bad on the road. We’ve managed it though. In terms of passing, we somehow are both the worst at pass offense and pass defense at the same time. Wow. That takes work. You almost have to try to be that bad.

Lou-a-villini November 24th, 2012

On a serious note: Robert, you deserve your dream job. On a less serious note: As the season comes to a foul end, I’m reminded of the advice my sophomore geometry teacher gave after somebody farted in class….”Just let it pass.”

bkenny November 24th, 2012

No better summary of this season than Beckman butt-scooting off the field after being penalized (our 2nd one like that this year on top of it!).

Joe John November 24th, 2012

50-14 and Beckman managed to commit 2 penalties during the game. Robert, just give the fire tim beckman now endorsement. Thats what I want to hear and read.

travelmaster November 24th, 2012

Can we all just pray together to rid us of this coaching staff. Does any Illini fan really want any of these coaches back for even one more game? Enough us enough. Before the season started the team was riddled with injuries due to harsh practices. Then the season began with poor play calling, turnovers, poor special teams and dumb penalties. This is excactly how our season ended too. Little or no improvements anywhere to be seen. Why did Beckman hire TWO OC’s that had never called plays before?! One of these coaches was even physically assaulted by his own player and was bad mouthed by their fans as the worst coach on that staff but he was a ‘good’ fit for us. Mike Thomas has said he expects great things from Coach Beckman. Really? Maybe coaching some high school team that has lots of talent and smart assistant coaches to help him but certainly not consistantly winning in the big 10.

Hoppy November 24th, 2012

At least MT will get rid of TB in his 3rd year if we are still being blown out by every team. (that’s my opinion, some think 4th, some think 3rd)
But I’m willing to give it to that 3rd year.
Robert, did you like the turnover fairy today? That fumbled KR was hilarious. The ball didn’t even hit the ground. It might as well have been a handoff. Oh…then the fumble recover we got at the end from the fat dude was hilarious. It was as if the turnover fairy was smiling and laughing sarcastically as she said, “SEEEEE Illinois football, I DO help you out.”

Lou-a-villini November 24th, 2012

Sources say Beckman’s buyout clause is two cartons of Skoal. I’ll pitch n a few bucks.

travelmaster November 24th, 2012

Does this team need a few good recruits or some proven big time successful coaches to turn the team around? I vote to go with Bobby Petrino,Todd Monken or John Gruden at any cost. I’m pretty sure Illinois could take up a collection drive to help pay for them if need be. I’d be one of the first to contribute. Of course Thomas settled for a HC that was barely 500 in a lesser conference, what are the odds he could hire a true winning football coach for Illinois?

Hoppy November 24th, 2012

Thomas has had a track record of hiring great coaches. One of which has just taken Notre Dame to the national championship game. He also brought Butch Jones into Cincy to replace Kelly and Jones hasn’t done too bad either.
I think Cincy also went to what…the sweet sixteen last year in basketball? If TB really is just awful awful awful I will give MT a pass. He has a pretty good track record and, so far, our basketball hire might be a home run.
If I worked somewhere and did a great job that brought money, success, and recognition to my superiors 90% of the time and slipped up once, I’d hope they would be quick to forgive it and let me have another whack at it.

Kilmers Black Workhorse November 24th, 2012

You know who can eat a big fat football?

Teddy Greenstein. Seriously, who does this guy think he is hitching his boat to Northwestern football, the nerdiest school in the country!!?!

Is he a fan of their basketball too?

Joe John November 25th, 2012

Northwestern is the best football program in the state at this point.

LongLiveTheChief98 November 25th, 2012

Actually, I would argue that NIU is the best football program in the state. Either way…ugh.