Camp Rantoul ~~>> knowing the season was over 20 minutes in ~~>> Terry Hawthorne on Halloween ~~>> Utah & Bradley ~~>> tipped lineman conversions ~~>> Clemson comeback ~~>> gut punch losses to Missouri and Gonzaga ~~>> a thrilling 3-game stretch ~~>> no shots on consecutive final possessions ~~>> Stony Brook ~~>> Whitmer’s arm ~~>> Scheelhaase lead blocking (twice). And now it’s May. And I’m bored.

Sure, there’s baseball. And the NBA/NHL playoffs. And the World Cup. But cut me and I bleed orange, and those sports are only filler until August gets here. And August is a long way away.

Perhaps that’s good, blog-wise. I’ve poured tens of thousands of words onto this screen in the first year of my fake career, and I’m kind of beat. And even though it was one of the 3 worst years in the last 30 for Illini sports, it’s still been fun. OK, maybe not fun. But entertaining. My fake career rules.

So to further promote that fantasy, how ’bout another pretentious mailbag? Yes! You be the confused public, I’ll be the knowledgeable scribe, and I’ll answer your questions with cynicism and derision. Sound fun? You bet.

Email me at criticalmass@alioneye.com. Ask me anything. I’ll mostly answer spring football questions, as that’s what’s freshest in my mind, but if you want to ask me my opinion on Illini basketball if Demetri stays in the draft (Jereme Richmond – point forward), please do so. It would be awfully embarrassing to only get one email from my brother-in-law, so if you want to ask about my thoughts on Memorial Stadium nachos (are peppers really that expensive?), please do.

But mostly spring football. Because I could write 400 words on the offensive line after Lewis’ injury like *that*.

Oh, and so this looks like a real mailbag, please include your first name (or nickname) and your home town.  And your question.  About Spring Football.  Or something else.  But mostly football.