I’ve decided to be positive today. Maybe even to the point of make-believe.

I’m excited about this football game. Maybe even a little sad. I love Saturday football games on campus, and this is the last one until September. I’ll miss the Saturday morning positivity, wherein I convince myself we can win that day. I’ll miss the Joker “and here… we… go” intro, I’ll miss the bitter old guy in my section tossing out the Old Man Hand with an “aangh” every penalty, and I’ll even miss convincing myself that THIS is the drive where we’ll get an interception.

Even though this is the most disappointing team in Illinois history (more on that on Tuesday. With graphs!), I’m still going to miss it. So I’ll play make-believe today and act like this win matters. When Juice hits Benn for 2 touchdowns, I’ll act like it’s number 11 and 12 on the season, not 2 & 3. I’ll spin around to high five fans that don’t show. I’ll celebrate each first down with a “wooo” and a point. The reality of this sucktastic season won’t really hit me until some time between the holidays, so for today, I’ll be acting as if we have a vibrant football program. Then, next week, I’ll lay out my 13 point plan on how to fix it (with graphs!). Then, the week after that, I’ll sink into a deep depression. THEN I’ll fully embrace the basketball season. (Watch out, basketball. In January, I’ll be looking for my biggest rebound relationship since college. I’m prepared to go on four dates the first week.)

Speaking of basketball, I’m going to that game today, too. Pretty excited about it. First time in The Hall this season, and I want to convince myself that Brandon Paul is a threat to leave after this season. I know he’s here at least two years, but i’m like most Illini basketball fans: the very moment that I realize that a player is really good, I’m immediately fearful that he’s going to leave school early. Great feeling.

So for today, I need two drubbings, please. I need us to clown both opponents. For football, I want to lament what could have been and gain some hope for next year. Even if it’s make-believe. For basketball, I want to be able to point to the Clemson game as the catalyst for the entire season. If we come out and destroy Boise, with BP3 going off for 27 and MikeD getting 17 boards, I’ll feel pretty good about Vandy, Missouri, and Gonzaga. If not…

You know what? No “if nots” here. Only clownings.

Illinois 37, Fresno State 13

Illinois 88, Boise State 59