I received an e-mail from a friend yesterday.  “Um, Illinois won on Saturday. Why aren’t you writing about it?”  I told him I’d sat at the computer several times since Saturday, but nothing came out.  It doesn’t make any sense to me either.

Then my wife asked me last night what I had written about the game. “Nothing”, I said. She looked puzzled and said “What? They won!”

Yes, yes they did.  And I was beyond thrilled on Saturday evening.  She knows that she can perk me up on any victorious game day simply by saying “Hey – Illinois won today.”  Shot of frisson, every time.  I bet if there was film of me falling asleep on Saturday night, I had a smile on my face like I was in some contour pillow commercial.

But then I woke up Sunday morning depressed.  And as I watched the highlights online, I started picking them apart.  “You know, that hitch really makes me wonder about Charest’s arm strength”, and “Ian Thomas looked awful in the second half, flat footed on 3rd and 24 here and slow to react in the flat on the TD there.”  What is this?  I look for positives after losses but negatives after wins?  Where’s the optimistic “win out and we could go Insight!” side of me?

And it took me until now to figure out why.  It’s this: we’re starting to look like what I thought we’d look like in the first quarter of the Missouri game.  And I’m grieving the fact that it took us 31 quarters of football to figure it out.  The Juice on the opening drive?  Rantoul Juice in its purest form.  Black Cat pick 6?  Straight outta the 2008 IHSA playoffs.  Benn fighting off a defender to catch a jump ball touchdown on third and goal?  Exactly what I was expecting out of his final season.  All along this team has had the talent and experience to do exactly what they did in the second half of the Michigan game and the first half of the Minnesota game when they outscored their opponents 59-7.  (Seriously – think about that.  59 points in the first 5 Big Ten games combined.  And then 59 points in those 4 quarters)

You know what?  Typing this out is cathartic.  I’m feeling some cautious optimism return.  What’s done is done, spilled milk, yada yada yada – we’re 3-6.  My glance at our record when looking up the 59 points statistic above provided a great moment: viewing the Big Ten standings and seeing Michigan below us (again). It tells me one thing: this is not 2003.  This season may have been a massive disappointment, but there is talent here to compete.  I’m not sure I could take another 1996 or another 2003 – at it appears, at least for now, that I won’t have to.  We won’t have to rebuild from scratch – just gut the interior and rebuild around the frame.

The positives from the past two weeks go beyond just this year and our unlikely-but-fun-while-it-lasts run at the Motor City Bowl.  Against Northwestern this weekend, we’ll likely start 1 senior on defense and 3 seniors on offense (plus Rejus).  Keep this little run going, and I’ll feel pretty good that this thing can be tweaked (new assistants) instead of imploded (new staff).  And as non-seniors continue to emerge (Clay Nurse is the pass rush we’ve been missing, Terry Hawthorne is the defensive athleticism we’ve been missing, Hugh Thornton is the hold-the-corner right tackle we’ve been missing), I feel even better.

Speaking of which, I obviously had Hawthorne and Nurse ranked a little too low in my preseason Top-50 back in June:

#36 Clay Nurse – I’m probably fooled by the fact that he’s a pass rushing defensive end wearing #97 in orange and blue, and I love all pass rushing defensive ends wearing #97 in orange and blue. But I’m really looking for Nurse to be Will Davis, circa 2007. Unknown at the beginning of the year, and then the reputation as our best pass rusher by October.

#35 Terry Hawthorne – I’ll say it again. We’ll look back on the decade of the 2000′s (is there a name yet? The aughts?) and list the following players as our top 3 recruits: 1. Rashard Mendenhall, 2. Arrelious Benn, 3. Terry Hawthorne. We’ll only see flashes this year – 17 yards-after-catch here, 49-yard kickoff return there – but I think his future is just as bright as Benn’s.

You know, that would read a lot better if I had stuck to my signing day guns and demanded Hawthorne play defense.  I’m already preparing one of those lame “open letter to…” posts for the end of the season wherein I ask Terry Hawthorne to be our own personal Chris Gamble for the next few seasons.  Full time starter on D, kickoff and punt returner, and 9 plays on offense just to keep everyone on their toes.

So yes, hope has returned.  We’ve escaped ESPN’s Bottom 10.  There’s a hop in our step.  A Minnesota team that had just put up 505 yards on Michigan State was held to 271. We’re favored at home over a bowl-eligible team that just beat the #4 team on the road.  Win on Saturday and Cincinnati fans (all 7 of them) are frightened about a Pitt/WVU-like BCS-implications meltdown.  It’s fun to feel alive again.

Again I look to you, Mr. Stadium Music Operator.  Put away your Friends In Low Places and cue up some Black Cat.

Rowwrr.